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The cost of neglecting your own well-being to please others

The cost of neglecting your own well-being to please others

Estibaliz Romana: The cost of neglecting your well-being to please others

Daylight hours are not given to you, and in addition to the work and other obligations you have created for yourself, you do your best to please others. This means you don't have time for the most important person in your life: you.

You have forgotten yourself and what you want and need. You feel out of energy, sad and lonely (because despite giving everything, sometimes others don't reciprocate). You have lost the strength you had, you look in the mirror and do not recognize yourself, and little by little your life loses its colour.

Do you feel it?

If yes, then keep reading, this post is for you, especially if you want to take control of your life again and reconnect with your inner power.

The more you try to please others, the worse you feel about yourself. You can't take it anymore and you have to do something with your life, otherwise you will explode from one moment to the next.
Why spend your life pleasing others?
Because you were taught that way.

You've always done that and now you've reached a dead end, not knowing what to do to act differently without upsetting others and without hurting them.

Give them information: People who love you will never ask you to do things you don't want to do. To achieve this, the first thing they need is data: Have you explained to them how you feel? Have you told them everything you don't want to do? Have you shared with them how you want to live? Did you ask them for help to make this happen?

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He remembers: They are not fortune tellers and if you do not explain to them clearly and calmly how you are, they will continue to behave the same way. Never assume that others know what you need and feel. Be very clear and honest. Talk to them from the heart.

Because you want to be approved of, feel loved and valued

You want to gain approval, praise, and love. What is the result of that? You have lost your self-respect and no longer even know who you are.

He remembers: After you build your self-esteem (you may need to start there) you'll realize that you don't need to please anyone. The only person you have to please is yourself, and if you decide to please someone, so be it because it feels good to do so and it won't hurt your self-esteem. At first it worked for you and you were able to get approval, praise and love. Now think… where has this taken you? You've forgotten your true needs: Other people don't know them, they think you feel good when you act the way you do, and then… you feel they've become selfish. As you always say “yes” to everything, now you feel that it is difficult to change that. The good news is that it is possible:

Only you have the power to create the life you want and deserve.

How do you start to stop pleasing others and prioritize yourself?

Talk, talk, talk… Explain how you feel and what you needAlways out of love, without blaming anything. Remember that everything you did was because you wanted to do it. And remember something very important: How they handle it is not your responsibility. You are responsible for your actions, but not for the reactions of others.

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Learn to say no and set boundariesOnly you can do that. Don't feel guilty or selfish for doing this. It's about honesty.

Watch yourself and stop thinking about what you need. This part involves a change in the way you see life. It consists of living life as a game, as learning. Now imagine you are watching the movie of your life. Observe and analyze your behaviors. How do you feel? why did you do that? There you will get guides to stop doing everything that does not make you feel good and that you do because of inertia. On this basis, take time to think and act.

listen to your heart. Allow yourself to be guided by your heart, listen to your intuition and act on what makes you feel good. We forget for a moment what others need. When you discover what you want, you can think about whether it matches what others want or not, and based on that you can make a decision. Meditation helps you connect with all of this.

Do not be afraid To how they will react to your decision, to what they will say…they may surprise you and accept your decision better than you expected. Just because you want something different than what is expected of you doesn't mean there has to be conflict. Share your opinion with us with all your love, without confrontation or imposition, and you will see how the film changes.

Accept that not everyone will like you. Assume that you won't always be liked, that they won't always approve of you, and don't take it personally. This does not make you less valuable, quite the opposite.

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Love and accept yourself as you are, and if there is something you don't like about yourself, it may be time to start changing it. In order for others to accept you, you must start accepting yourself. You should value your desires and opinions. As we said before, not everyone will like you, but you will have more honest relationships, be true to yourself, and that is priceless.

Be strong and composed and do not allow yourself to be manipulated. This will increase your self-esteem and you will feel better about yourself, stronger and free.

Find balance in change. We don't want a radical change that turns your entire life upside down. It's about changing the things you do that please you, the things you do out of inertia, out of habit, or the things that hurt you. I repeat this again because it seems to me that he is the key, always explaining what you feel and what you need and speaking from the heart.

Have you begun to feel that your happiness depends exclusively on you?

I hope this post helps you reconnect with your inner power and start creating the life you want and deserve to live.

If there's anything you want to ask me, you know where to find me [email protected], www.estibalizromana.com and guided meditations at https://anchor.fm/estibalizromanapodcast.

Happy Sunday!
note. Don't forget to get out into the world to practice.